P.S.

1 week. then it goes. forever.

Fuck Me

It's time now to wrap this shit up for good. put it to bed, piss on it's bonfire, stick it all in a bag with some bricks and toss the whole fucking lot into the Derwent.

You can catch me on my other blogs... except I aint gonna tell you cunting pillocks what they are.
Time for a final death scream...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGHHH

Pigs, Lunch and Unity

VEGETARIANISM

Went down to Leeds Unity day in Hyde Park yesterday. Hyde Park is one of those places that is usually full of students and the odd apologetic vegetarian, interspersed with some div trying to sell the Socialist Worker. Fortunately it is the middle of summer so all of the properly wanky students had fucked off to be with their mummies and left behind only the reasonably well adjusted, the hardcore and the insane.

The day kicked off with us nearly stepping in some vegetarian dog shit, before trying to find some lunch. Vegetarians don't plan their festivals very logically, so it took us a while to find. When eventually we located a vegetarian hog roast sandwich with apple sauce (which hit the spot nicely despite it's excessive price of £3.50) we were delighted to find that the hog was in fact real and in fact the hog roast was fuelled with vegetarians. properly ace.

I DIGRESS

Which is entirely the point of unity day. Digressing. And it is all the better for it, too. It was nice to hear some properly loud music again as we haven't been out of our box at all since becoming enslaved by our tiny, angelic faced but slave driving captor, the Berzog. Highlights included some pissed up scottish guy growling at the crowd a lot, dancehall music - the only time and place this is any good is at these events, the Very Tidy Disco Tent - excellent tunes as always, The G-unit (eldest son) finding a Berzog discarded toy that we all thought had gone forever, and last but not least the scantilly clad, ample thighed fire dancer at the end.

So there you have it.

Although I will say that a "slow latin grooves" tent was sadly lacking. Or is that just me?

SHIT FOR BRAINS

When will the extreme-right-posing-as-conservatism hysterical CUNT brigade in the States finally be superceded by something reasonable???

Ground Zero Mosque?

1. NOT A MOSQUE
2. NOT AT GROUND ZERO

Fuck off and die.

BANE AT THE YSP

Went to the YSP yesterday. It was nice. Saw some of the David Nash stuff - It's really cool stuff and really good to see in the context of the YSP. If I were you I'd go and see it, even if penis obsessed hunks of charred wood aint your bag. The rest of the park is excellent too - I especially enjoyed the giant hare women by Sophie Ryder. St. Marys of York could learn a thing or two from the YSP.

Just don't eat at the cafe - £40 for 4 sandwiches, cakes and tea. my arse HURTS...

Time Flies

SPINAL TAP

God damn, I seem to have just lost an entire year of blog. This was not due to any cock rock style massive drugs binge, in fact it was in protest against such massive wasteful and unstylish excess, to prove that you do not have to behave like a total cunt to wind up going backwards, you can settle down, have a baby and and be a good citizen and still manage some blogger's droop.

DEVELOPMENTS

Shitloads has happened here recently, I gained a son, some weight, lost a drinking habit, joined a committee, broke down in the snow and properly fell out with my mother. happy days. In between all that shit I have been itching to rant about all sorts of crazy shit but some of it was so crazy that I had to wait a bit in order not to explode.

Like the Tories not wining the election but somehow managing to get the Liberal wanky tosswad traitorous power hungry brown nose Democrat party to bend down and eat their shit so that they could form a government and destroy the country. Except the country already got destroyed by another bunch of public school cunts called the Labour Party in conjunction with even more public school cunts at the bank. Anybody would think that public school cunts are totally incompetent but evidently not, because no other fucker can get a job because of them.

It is quite scary watching the Toryboys scramble around looking for non broken bits of the country to smash...We are all doomed... Goodbye public sector, goodbye arts and culture, hello enforced sucking of Daily Mail reader's Cocks (I know most of those Nazis are women, doesn't mean they don't have cocks - look at Melanie Phillips).

MORONIC CHARVERS

We have largely stopped watching telly these days. The food programmes have not evolved sufficiently to keep us entertained - instead of food related deathfights with samurai swords -which would be the obvious and natural progression - we just have even more pretentious bollocks, chefs who take themselves far too seriously and who would obviously rather shag their own food than a real human. Most other television has become so mindless that it actually hurts your brain to watch it. Only Luther and Sherlock (both BBC) were actually any good in the last 12 months, and when the Daily Nazi manage to bludgeon the spineless cunt government into abolishing the license fee there will be absolutely nothing on the airwaves except for post apocalyptic Mitchell and Webb style gameshows and Mitchell and Webb themselves, the irritating bastards.

PRETENTIOUS KNOB ENDERS

Elsewhere, in the world of actual culture, the famed art critic Bane is currently working to make the MLT the world's major arts hub - which is an ongoing thing that might take a while - and elsewhere people are churning out the same old shite, talking the same old bollocks.

And what the fuck is the point of the York St. Mary's "art space"???? As a concept I have never come across anything so damn lazy - in itself not necessarily a bad thing - I'm all for a bit of laziness - but to open and employ staff to man 1 fucking meaningless art installation so that 3 people a day can accidentally stumble in, wonder how long they have to stand staring at something that they have absolutely no ability to relate to in order to be polite before slowly creeping out again, breathing a sigh of relief and feeling somehow violated is surely a waste of time and space. I'm not saying that the art or the artists are necessarily shite, but the point of an art installation is surely to enhance a vibrant space like a piazza or some other busy hub - context is king, and if the context is deathly silent, slightly dingy and totally devoid of any activity then unless it is truly world class the art is always going to fall slightly flat.

WRONG

There are a lot of cunts that need twatting at the moment, like the BNP, MPs and anyone who installs uPVC windows. But the people I want to twat most right now are the Iranian TV people. They are actually broadcasting this shit...

From the Guardian:

Here is an English transcription of a state-run Iranian TV interview from today with a young man purported to be a detained protester. It ran this morning on Vision of the Islamic Republic of Iran Network 1, Tehran.

[Presenter] The few rioters who disturbed Tehran's order in the past few days, have made significant statements regarding their objectives.
[Female with pixellated face] There was a military hand grenade [as received] in my hand bag and in my son's bag. It was all because my son wanted to have power and show that he could take over power [and use it] against his own country and his fellow countrymen. This was all because of an atmosphere created by the BBC in Iran. I was influenced by this channel.

[Reporter asks a young man] When did you come to Tehran?
[Young man]: About seven or eight days ago.
[Reporter]: When were you arrested?
[Young man] Three days ago.
[Reporter] Where?
[Young man] Under Hafez flyover.
[Reporter] Did you have any criminal record at all?
[Young man] No, not at all.
[Reporter] What about drugs?
[Young man] Yes. I had half a gram of crystal with me once. I came to Tehran to repair my mobile phone but when I saw that there was disorder, I started robbing people. I used the opportunity provided by the crowds and rioters and started robbing people.
[Young man] How did you do it?
[Young man] I did it with my brother. I would keep people busy and my brother would rob them.
[Reporter to young man 2] How old are you?
[Young man 2] I'm 15 years old.
[Reporter] So you didn't vote?
[Young man 2] No.
[Reporter] How long have you been here?
[Young man 2] Three days.
[Reporter] Where were you exactly arrested?
[Young man] Ostad Mo'in Avenue.
[Young woman] I was influenced by VOA Persian and the BBC. They were reporting that the [police] forces were the ones who were beating up people. I wanted to know what was happening and whether or not this was true. But when I went there, I realized that most of us protesters were attacking government property, the [police] forces and other people. They broke house windows and intercoms. Those who were protesting were somehow rioting. We set public property on fire, threw stones at people's cars, there were no [police] forces near us to be hit by our stones. We hurled stones at other people's cars, doors, windows, intercoms. We set motorcycles on fire. When I was running from the police yesterday my dad didn't want to open the door and let me in. I opened the door with force and sought refuge at home, but I was finally arrested.
[Reporter to another man] Did you take part in the election?
[Man 3] No.
[Reporter] So you didn't vote at all?
[Man 3] No.
[Reporter] Those who protested had taken part in the election and had their own objections. What did you want in the protests when you didn't even vote?
[Man 3] I was not pursuing anything particular. I think I was influenced by some networks like the BBC and the VOA to do this unethical action.
[Reporter to another young man] Did you vote?
[Man 4] No, I was under-age by a 10 or 20 days. There were so many things happening. I set buses, cars and even trees on fire. The Law Enforcement Force was warning us not to hurl stones towards cars, but I still threw stones. I did all sorts of things. I was provoked. I really didn't want to do these things.
[Reporter] How were you provoked?
[Man 4] They [fellow protesters] were provoking me with really bad language or even swear words. They said they [police] were Israelis.
[Reporter] Who agitated you? Were they specific people?
[Man 4] They mostly wore masks and I think they are the real people behind this whole thing.

Back once again with the renegade master D4 damager power to the people

Hello. It has been a while. I have been forced to dig for 18 hours a day every day since my last blog. I only have 2 minutes before my captor returns so I'll make it quick...

Just like to share my joy as once again british politics decends into farce. The Twat party (Labour) can't hack it, the Cunt party (conservative) have been sitting in their huge piles doing fuck all except scratching their huge piles (whilst claiming for the preperation H) and the Damp Squib party have been too busy being feeble to make any headway despite everyone else's total incompetence (and incontinence in the case of most of the tories). What a bag of wank. As a stone age cave dweller with my own veg patch I don't really give a shit about the finer points (or anyone else at all, really) but it would be nice to see all that money spent on politicians went on something more worthy like free beer for the under 39s, or hiring the Specials to play non stop for the rest of their lives in Malton market place.

Lots of stuff has been going down since I last wrote on here. On the Sat Bains show in particular. God we miss that programme, more on that later on.

It's good to be back on the train again isn't it. 

laters.

the I-B