Patriotism

BEERS

Yesterday was St. George's Day - The day to bask in the despicable glory that was our "great" colonial past, kid yourselves that you are English and therefore worthwhile whilst masturbating vigorously to the sound of morris dancing (Paedophiles dressing up as cunts with bells on their ankles dancing around banging sticks together), before shaving your head and beating up non-Aryans. Or not. But lo! Is this not the sort of thinking that has left us 1 party day short a year? Why should we let morris dancers destroy our national credibility? And why should the Irish get all the fun? Do you not want a piece of that action?

DELUSIONAL

I want to reclaim St. George's Day as a celebration for reasonable people who don't dress up as twats and don't go round levering ethnic minorities. Why not, we  do still have a fuck of a lot to be proud of as a nation (interesting ways to eat offal, inventing cricket and then being generous enough to let everyone else win) yet not many of us even remember what day St. Georges day is on. I like the fact that St. George is clearly a figment of somebody's imagination, a really cool myth that is obviously a myth. He sets us apart from all the other countries with their boring martyrs who died for their beliefs. Celebrating delusional cunts just seems silly to me. So have a bevvy on St. George this weekend, just celebrate a non dubious bit of Englishness whilst you do. 

HALF ARSED

All of this ties in nicely with the latest bit of shite public art to get the Bane treatment... Yes, it's that (world famous) bit of "Peace Fencing" in West Belfast that is being used to advertise loyalist pride in their identity, with pictures of Lord Carson, The original UVF and plenty of Orangemen (surely just a continuation of the morris dancer theme).

NASTY

Basically, now that the Northern Irish seem to be managing to keep hatred down to the bare maximum, to celebrate we have some murals that are stuck to a really nasty looking peace wall, designed to try to refocus Unionist pride in a non violent way. Despite these efforts, I think the best thing on that wall is graffiti: "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity". But at least it brightens the wall up, if not promoting a bit of unity. I'm still not sure why the Irish hate each other, when it's all the fault of Henry II... 

Anyway... My version would look like this.

Tunes coming later...

I-B