Hello people. Or person.
TREES
I have been in the garden all day erecting things (fence posts) and digging big old holes to stick my erections into. This was fine, until I encountered a tree, with all of its roots. I can dig through concrete, gravel, clay all with just a bit of brute force but when it comes to tree roots, the only thing you can do is bow down to the fuckers and go around. Everybody goes on about how we need to plant more trees and save the rain forest and shit like that, but if the planet was covered with trees then it would be impossible to build civilization or roller-coasters or even bus stations, so you couldn't be all green and use public transport or electric cars, you would have to fly everywhere. What is more, you couldn't land, so you would just be burning up fuel for the sake of it waiting for the catastrophic crash that ends your sorry existence.
Therefore I have concluded that trees are evil bastards, and they and humans are mutually exclusive and for the good of humanity and the planet I say we chop them all down. They don't make any difference to the CO2 situation anyway, its the plankton that sort that shit out.
CROOKED
I hate Jaqui Smith like old people hate Thatcher. Despicable hypocritical blaggard of a sponging idealess pointless tool. No difference to any other politician then, I hear you cry. No, but her face particularly offends me.
see you all later.
These are really funny, keep em coming!
ReplyDeleteas an old person i feel qualified to point out that if you hate smith as much as we hate that utter cunt thatcher then, had you not still been filling your nappies when the twat was in power, you would have exploded in an unseemly mess of vitriol and bile. several good people were lost that way. very messy.
ReplyDeletenearly 20 years after the bitch was kicked out by the other tory shitbags we oldies still hate her. no one will remember smith in a couple of years and thank fuck for that.
even if she does look like a twat