The Ashes poll has been a raging success, and has given me an insight into how many millions of people come and visit the blog every week. So, in light of my findings (and without further ado) I'd like to thank you both for your time and patience.
The weekend so far has been an orgy of exciting happenings... mostly fence post related, I managed to crack a rib, which is the shittest injury ever because (basically my wife thinks I'm a fucking loser) ie essentially I'm fine but moaning a lot and can still do most jobs. Yesterday I made the mistake of staying at home to dig holes whilst the wife and kids went off to Dalby Forest to climb stuff and get dizzy on the spinny thing. The spinny thing is possibly the greatest feat of engineering ever, by the way, it spins you round really quickly until you fall off, break your skull and throw up simultaneously. And this is fine, because we live in Yorkshire, where folk are hard and Health & Safety laws don't apply...
WANKER
The Great British Menu competition is hotting up good and proper now. The Geordie boys this week were possibly the best yet, with Ian (a gargantuan pie eating meat head with a highly unexpected and immense culinary knowledge) narrowly losing out to Kenny, the short ginger one. We loved them both. Meanwhile the mentorship of "it's not Sat Baines it's the gay one" has been replaced by Marcus Wareing, "it's the wanker who knows his shit". In fairness to Marcus, he was entering into the spirit of things and he is obviously in a different gastronomic league.
TWAT
Meanwhile the media are still going crazy over police brutality and shit like that. I am always up for giving the police a hard time if they step out of line, and I don't think that stuff like this should go unchecked but bloody hell, if you can't twat a hippy from time to time then what is the point in living, frankly. You really do need to make sure that it is actually a hippy you are twatting though. It sickens me to the core when the cops kill an innocent and the book should be thrown in those situations.
PRETZEL
Next week you all can look forward to a frenzy of content. I will be sharing the Bane guide to erecting fence posts, as well as a critical appraisal of the A170 pretzel. And any other stuff I can think of. Meanwhile, here are this weekend's tunes:
1. Sigma - All Blue
2. Spor - Silver Spaceman
3. Massive Attack - I against I
4. Logistics - Toy Town
5. Dead Prez - Hip Hop
6. Fleetwood Mac - The Chain (because it's still good)
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